Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
