found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
