If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
