he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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