your thong is hanging out like whoa
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
