She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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