why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
