im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
