butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
