we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
