i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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