why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
