I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
