So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
