i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
