youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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