a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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