i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
