Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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