took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
