until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think your dad took our porno
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
