the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I did not marry a roomba.
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