Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
