At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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