Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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