the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
