No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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