You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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