I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
