how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
