Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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