someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
