Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
