Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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