He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
