You work out of a Hotel?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I lost the right to judge tonight
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
