For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
