Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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