Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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