somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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