i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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