Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
