i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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