so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
