I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
