I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
