I can text with my tongue
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
