we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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