The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
