Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
