My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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