Sober January is a disaster.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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