Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
