She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
