come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
