It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
